Diego The Tortoise Screws His Species Back From The Dead

Diego, as he formally goes by apparently fucked the tortoise back from the edge of extinction in what appears to be a heroic move. Talk about being tasked with the greatest job any male species could ever take on. Word is he fathered over 800 offspring. Imagine when he heard about his new job…

“Yo, Diego, were running low on our kind. We’re going to need you to pipe us back… Could you do that?”

I’m assuming this is how Diego looked after hearing the news. The phrase I wouldn’t have sex with you if you were the last man on earth was NOT the reality for his Turtle.

“He’s a very sexually active male reproducer. He’s contributed enormously to repopulating the island,”  Washington Tapia, a tortoise preservation specialist at Galapagos National Park, told the news service.

Way to get it Diego – Way to save your people. Now hurry home you pipe machine and enjoy a cold one. You earned it.

 

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