The Attractiveness Most Likely To Get A Man Laid

About a week ago I wrote an article about women always seemingly dating down. Everywhere you look there’s a hot girl standing beside some goober dude…

With that same concept in mind I believe there’s also a premiere “attractiveness” range that increases a mans chances of getting laid.

Below is a 10 scale of man looks – 1 being as ugly as The Hunchback of Notre Dame and 10 looking like Brad Pitt in Achillies.


Interpret the chart like you would a batters hit chart


The red means getting laid is easy and frequent, whereas the lighter colors mean less opportunity. Blue is not good for the ol’ hanger.

  • As you can see, based on my scientific study you get laid constantly when you are a 10. But being a 10 is celebrity status. Like Zach Efron hot…
  • You’ll notice that the next “Hot Spot” is between a 6 and a 7, NOT at 8 or 9. Hmmm…
  • And finally if you are a 2, 3, or 4 you have little to no chance. And as a 1, just turn EMO. Life sucks.


Based on the study, what looks surprising but is actually proven, is that 6 or 7’s get way more ass than an 8 or 9’s. But why, Ted? This is riveting… It’s because 8 or 9 sexy is just too hot to handle. It’s too much pressure. Too high of standards to match. As a result, the laid back 6, or “guy next door” gets all the booty by default. It’s comforting for the ladies. Like mashed potatoes that your momma made.

This study also supports why no one in the Nest is getting laid. Everyone is a hard 8 or 9. Just too god damn sexy to pull lady buns. We need to start aging, and get ugly fast… Find a sweet spot in that piping 6.8 range.

PS: Cait walked by and asked “What are you writing now?” To which I responded, “nothing.” She countered with “Oh yeah, I just saw “Man getting laid in the title”…

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