The Madden Curse has returned…

I feel like there hasn’t been enough coverage on this subject matter and frankly I’m fucking pissed. It;s on me though I should have known. The Madden curse for those of you who don’t know, is that anyone that graces the cover of the beloved video game is doomed the upcoming season. One might ask, “who was on this year’s cover?” None other than Uncle Stink’s First round pick Rob “Gronk” Gronkowski…He’s been in and out of the line-up for the Pats all season long but now has been ruled out for the remainder of the season having surgery on a herniated disk in his back.

Here is a list of the Poor Saps that have been injured during the Madden Curse:

The Cover Athletes
’99: Garrison Hearst(San Francisco 49ers)
Broken Ankle
’00: Barry Sanders(Detroit Lions) Retired Unexpectedly Breaking Lions Fans Hearts.
Replaced: Dorsey Levens(Green Bay Packers) nagging injury, loses starting spot, cut in ’01.
’01: Eddie George(Tennessee Titans) Bobbles pass for INT & loss, avg 3.4 yards/ carry after that.
’02:  Daunte Culpepper(Minnesota Vikings) Knee Injury out for the season.
*This is the first year that the Madden Curse had been recognized as an issue*
’03: Marshall Faulk(St. Louis Rams) 1st year he wasn’t able to rush for 1,000 yards, knee injury in ’06 ended his career.
’04: Michael Vick (Atlanta Falcons) Fractured right fibula out for 11 games and you know how that dog fighting shit ended up.
’05: Ray Lewis (Baltimore Ravens) Tore hamstring in week 6 ending season for him.
’06: Donovan McNabb (Philadelphia Eagles) Groin injury followed by tearing his ACL.
’07:  Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seahawks) Broken foot and the following season lead to a fractured wrist, sprained knee, and sprained ankle.
*We’re almost halfway to this season, does the curse seem to be present fuck yeah. I’d refuse to be on the cover if I were a baller*
’08: Vince Young (Tennessee Titans) Pulled Quad and lost starting role to Kerry Collins
Alternative Cover: Luis Castillo (San Diego Chargers) sidelined by Knee Injury.
’09: Brett Favre (Green Bay Packers) The year after he “retired” adn decided to comeback like a dumb ass he played for the Jets, he had more off-field issues than on-field. Pretty sure he sent off a dick pic but he later injured his shoulder for the remainder of his career.
’10:Larry Fitzgerald (Arizona Cardinals) & Troy Polamalu (Pittsburgh Steelers) Sounds like Larry had in an incredible year and again an incredible ass. Troy wasn’t as fortunate… Sprained his MCL in week 1 missed 4 games, played the next 3 games and boom! injures his posterior cruciate ligament.
’11: Drew Brees( New Orleans Saints) No Injuries to report but played one of of his worst seasons in comparison to previous efforts and threw 2x’s as many INTs than previously recorded.
’12: Peyton Hillis (Cleveland Browns) Probably the last time a Browns player will grace the cover…He had a breakout year in 2010 and thought things would keep rolling but We Fucking suck. Strep throat and an injured hamstring plagued him and then he left as a free agent.
’13: Calvin Johnson (Detroit Lions) He made it out alive you guys, he had a great season and for lions fans I am happy for them, even though he has since retired. What a Fantasy Beast and monster on the field.
’14: Adrian Peterson (Minnesota Vikings): aggravated foot injury and then had some off the field issues with his parenting/switch disciplinary style.
’15: Richard Sherman (Seattle Seahawks): No Injury played very well but they did lose the superbowl and he can be an arrogant asshole too.
’16: Odell Beckham, Jr. (New York Giants) No real issues the dude killed it on the field but he has had some anger management issues and cries like a baby back bitch at times.
’17: Rob Gronkoswki(New England Patriots) You already know the deal with this big ass child.

The proof is the in the pudding more times than not the players get hurt or play shittier than the year prior so wise up and be careful with your fantasy football choices or you’ll be living in Nightmare football season like myself…

Enjoy your time off gronk…

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