Well, it’s official. I can no longer comfortably fit my legs into any size jeans at Banana Republic. And no, I’m not fat, I just have huge, muscular, beautiful calves that won’t fit in the pant legs. Additionally my two ass cheeks were pushed together so tight that it looked like I only had one. (And I have a small ass to begin with) Yesterday I arrived home with two pairs of trendy jeans from BR and let’s just say I was laughed out of my own home. My legs looked like two summer sausages jammed snuggly into the outer casing and now I’m wondering, when is skinny too skinny?
And while I’m not a fan of going back to 90’s overly baggy look (See Jude Law Below) at least they covered me appropriately. Brands have gone too far with the Euro designs. When skinny first appeared in the USA I was OK. The fit actually looked clean and a bit slimming, but now I’ve officially become worried. When you cant bend your legs and your cock head shows up like its painted onto your inner thigh it’s gone too far. Nobody want’s to see your dong. Especially not me.
Last night as I stood there in humiliation I realized it’s nothing but regular fit Levi jeans for me going forward. Others can keep wearing these tight things but I can’t proceed. Europe wins this one. I’m just fearful because I don’t see an end in sight and pretty soon it will be nothing but stork men prancing around the bars. It also can’t be good for your package to be snug like that. If I had to guess, the next few generations will have some screwed up looking children as a result.
A few of these below might even be women… I can’t tell anymore. It’s messed up.
Categories: Twisted Thoughts