This dude couldn’t be more serious as he attempts to set the World Record for fastest time finishing Super Mario. I want to apologize right now as he might be a little slow… not slow in sprinting through the game but mentally as kids with autism typically find their niche in something many in video games…But hey kid, why don’t you loosen up a bit, unbutton that top button, maybe grab a quick shower as you probably haven’t showered for days, I’m guessing your teeth could use a brushing from all the fucking Doritos and mountain dew you’ve been crushing. Your skin looks like you haven’t been outside…EVER. But hey let’s take a quick look into how he conquered this shit.
I love his enthusiasm “Think we’re okay!” and gives a point to the gaming gods. My man is licking his lips and gets parched half way through. “one last sip. AHHHH!”
Claiming he pulled a muscle my god… “That was it. That was it. That was it. That was it.” I don’t know what’s more lame that people were watching the live feed and commenting or this kid being an absolute loser. I used to love playing Mario as a kid but I was trying to grab every coin and beat each enemy. I also think this dude should have been bitten by those fucking pipe plant eaters…whatever. I just wasted 6 minutes of my time and a little over 3 minutes of yours. Good luck getting acclimated to work this week, you guys…
Categories: Twisted Thoughts