He has a fucking problem! I’m telling you… that hog makes him act really funny. (His hog size is the only truth) Rick is by far the most habitual white lie son of a bitch I’ve ever met. You name it and he will exaggerate it like an old man who went fishing all alone.
His latest lie – He claims he once kicked a 70 yard field goal with a straight face. However, after pointing out that no one has ever even recorded such a feat in an NFL game he said it might have actually been 60 yards, which then changed to 40 yards, and immediately bounced back up to 45 yards.
All four of these lies added up in a matter of 5-8 seconds. Can you imagine this guy being interrogated for murder? He would butcher every single story and eventually find himself guilty even if he didn’t do it.
Detective: “So you shot the man twice in the chest?”
Rick: “Shoot him! You think I’m a pussy!? I stabbed him in the throat because I’m hardcore.”
*Keep in mind – In this example Rick had absolutely nothing to do with any murder. Instead he was laying on the couch in my basement with skittles*
He just can’t help but to exaggerate himself.
Categories: Twisted Thoughts