It’s 2017 and app dating is the way it is. I’ve watched buddies of mine swipe left and right ferociously searching a 50 mile radius for bites. It’s truly incredible. It’s also the Wild West and some rules/regulations must be established.
- Individual pictures only – When a Tinder picture has 4 girls or guys it’s usually the ugliest one’s account. Stop it already. People shouldn’t have to guess amongst 3-4 subjects. Own that profile picture like a mug shot and remove doubt.
- Only natural pictures – Stop with the filters. Men aren’t dumb. We’ve seen the filter run it’s course and we understand it’s impact. The dog filter or the ferry princess filter should be banned from any dating service. Even the ugliest humans look respectable with those.
- No angles – An angle can do amazing things to a picture. Tilt the camera one way or the other and it sheds 15 pounds instantly. And again, men understand this because we’ve been sending dick pics since the polaroid camera. Geometry didn’t teach us this. Our sexual curiosity did. Even a slight angle can add 2-3 inches of length and an inch of girth. Again, mug shot style is the only way to truly know.
I’m sure there’s other rules that should be established but this is a good start. The worst thing you can do is embark on a relationship with a lie. So don’t deceive from the get go. Own that shit. Below is how every profile picture should be presented.
No more doctoring, makeup, or Photoshop. The best looking one below is the “hot mug shot” guy or that middle convict with the beard and flow. Not some celebrity. Why? Because celebrities fake it till they make it. But a mug shot reveals it all.
Categories: Twisted Thoughts