Couples Working Out Together Must Stop: It’s all about competition

We’ve all seen these bullshit videos of couples working out together. Typically it’s a dime ass chick with some ripped hunk at the park, showing off some bullshit routine, complete with occasional kisses of support.

See below – disgusting. Get the fuck out of here.

Blah, blah, blah…

STOP. You see, from my perspective a healthy relationship is all about competition. I try to one up my fiancé with the healthy living. She runs a few miles, I hit the gym a bit harder (I don’t run. I retired last year. It sucks) She eats healthy, I starve myself for an entire day or more. Whatever it takes, she won’t outdo me. What kind of example would we be setting if we worked together? A champion isn’t about what you do when others are watching. It’s about what you do when no one is looking. (So I’ve been told)

So I think it’s important that couples work out alone. Who wants it more? Who wants to hold the “cards” come this summer? Partners should put in the hours at the gym like a boxer preparing for his rounds. I’m not giving up any of my secrets. Compete, compete, compete!

Me competing & starving below.


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