As you all know by now, Jabrill Peppers of Michigan “failed” the NFL drug test because of a diluted sample. In the NFL even a diluted sample is considered a failed test. So of course, Peppers got out in front of this with the below statement:
“He was sick after flying there from San Diego. He has a history of cramping. Peppers was being pumped with fluids, drinking 8-10 bottles of water before he went to bed, because he was the first guy to work out two days for the LBs and DBs. He had to go through that first day, come back on second day, and that was the fear. So Peppers was pounding water and under the weather. He never failed a drug test in his life, nor tested positive before for any substance.”
And while the above response is status quo for an NFL failed drug test hopeful, I’m here to say I’m fairly certain the dude was smoking pot like an idiot just days before the biggest interview of his life.
I know because I did the same, but obviously on a far lesser scale. Fresh off high school graduation I decided to celebrate by hot boxing a car with a few buddies. Now, I’ve never been a regular smoker but this occasion seemed fitting. So like a moron I lit up but somehow forgot about a drug test for my summer job two days later.
As a result, the next day while in a total panic I started to drink water around the clock like a mad man. My scrawny ass self probably put on 20 lbs. of water weight alone. I even bought one of those cheap ass Wal-Mart home drug tests (and passed) but remained nervous. It was a torturous 48-72 hours for an 18 year old.
Two days later at work, I took the test and you could have literally drank my urine. It was as clear as moon shine… It was actually hilarious in hind sight.
The next day my test results came back – Result: FAILED/DILUTED. Just like Peppers. Now thankfully my junk yard job (no joke) wasn’t as serious as a multi million dollar NFL job so I re-took the test and passed the next time around.
However, the point remains. Peppers likely lit up like an idiot, diluted his urine in a panic, and now he’s trying to dodge the situation with a joke excuse.
I also like to think that other than our 40 times, our bench press totals, our bodies, and our athletic ability, Peppers and I aren’t all that different…
PS: This is no hate piece on Peppers. Dude is a stud football player and I like him. I also especially like how much Ohio State fans seem to obsess over the guy. Get over it.
Me when I finally pissed after all the water: