Yes, we’ve been absent the past few days but for good reason. We’ve been busy been celebrating two bachelor parties and some old asses 30th b-day.
It was a glorious three days at the beautiful Flamingo Casino (Also known as the Wal-Mart of the strip) rolling dice, smoking cigars, betting on games, and smashing more Chinese noodles and strombli’s than you can imagine. The food court turned into our late night drunk Oasis and the stromboli’s were flying off the shelf.
Overall, it was your typical Vegas trip. Minimal sleep and overly expensive. And a key reason it was expensive is because we got cleaned out during the excitement of the Kentucky Derby. Which is also a sight to behold in Vegas. An incredible scene from a sportsbook full of degenerates.
Throughout the day we slowly began talking like horse experts even though none of us had a damn clue. At one point J-Hoe sounded like Adam Schefter when he supposedly spoke with a regular that had an “inside scoop.” Apparently the horse Patch was a good mud racer, and due to the heavy rainfall us idiots went along with J-Hoe’s unverified expert… And why not? J-Hoe said the guy was wearing hats and pins and shit. What more proof did we need!?
Result: Patch, THE ONE EYED HORSE finished 14th! Of course! We trusted a random old dude sucking down hoons and brews over a factual one eyed, 1/2 blind horse. A girl wouldn’t have picked Patch, in the same way girls randomly win March Madness brackets… by not overthinking it. HE WAS BLIND and we expected him to win.
I guess in the long run it really doesn’t matter. You go to Vegas expecting to lose. You act like horse experts, craps and blackjack dynamos, gambling aficionado’s, and ultimately live whatever version of yourself you want to be. Because in Vegas, You Can Be Anything You Want To Be.
*** Did I mention we also spent $2,000 on beers at the pool… one day – Maybe I shouldn’t blame the poor one eyed-horse.
Categories: Twisted Thoughts